Respect our Rules, mkay

TA has shitloads of rules and regulations that help keep COBRA running. Let’s be honest here folks, without rules there would be anarchy, chaos and anything but new world order. That would lead to nobody being around to enforce our good will and charitable offerings.

So lets get to it. Members are required to follow these rules to the best of their ability, fuck that, they’re required to follows these rules at all times or I’ll tell their mom, no joke, I talk to Kevin’s mom a lot, and Shaft’s, and other peoples too, honest.

If an issue or conflict arises, it should be brought to the leaders immediately. That pretty much means, if you got an issue, tell Cobra Commander, he’ll basically ignore it and we’ll go on our way, but you should tell us so we can laugh about it, it makes our day go by faster. COBRA is an organization designed to serve its overlord, that would be the all powerful Cobra Commander. The rules and regulations of TA are therefore, awesom.

Rules and Policies of stuff to be memorized
(note to self, give tests later):

1. Members who leave TA on bad terms or are banned from the TA, and some people don’t have maps, as such by and South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere like such as, is will be permanently expelled and will not be allowed to return. Bad terms is defined as, but not limited to, everything, anything and something. The Colonel has the authority to reverse a member’s ban or bad term status, he lives in a van, it has free candy, and it is, down by the river.

2. Members who leave TA on good terms, but not excellent ones, may apply for reinstatement to the TA through our non-existent application process, as discussed previously but not explained to the public, therefore such as is will be not. Commanders, such as Cobra Commander cannot approve a past member to rejoin TA under any circumstance unless his grace decides to.

A member may only leave TA on good terms if they can find and inform Pepe, the invisible silent ninja. By finding Pepe, it is deemed by both Cobra Commander and Pepe to be leaving on good terms, in such a case, one will be granted a stamped yellow verification waiver, that remains in a vacuum sealed container and with the COBRA seal, upon such time as reinstatement is to commence, said waiver must be presented in its sealed container. Failure to do so will lead to laughing.

3. Members of TA are not allowed to leave TA once joining. Members of COBRA, as is the blood oath of all COBRA members can not under any circumstance join any other organized gaming community and/or clan, unless given special super secret permission, which everyone gets upon joining, unless they don’t. Ask Pepe if you aren’t sure if you’ve received super secret permission, he may or may not be able to tell you. SQUIRREL.

Casual association with another community or clan is allowed, as long as TA members piss off members of that other community. Members that are a part of TA, or leave TA at any point to join another organized gaming community or log into any other website esp online banking websites will be permanently expelled from TA and will not be allowed to return to COBRA, this includes, but is not limited to our forums. Being permanently expelled is permanent in such as you are never allowed to leave Team Awesomness.

4. The TA forums are strictly for people that are awesom, that means they aren’t for bots, sorry but we aren’t robot friendly yet. Members who leave TA will have their accounts banned from the forums without question in so much as you can’t leave TA, esp if they are bots, because we will use such accounts as deadly firing practice for the Robot Monkey Army.

5. Further, members who are registered users on both COBRA, and COBRA Island and are also on another organized gaming community or clan’s forum or website, will have their accounts permanently removed and/banned from the TA forums because we are so amazing and awesom that you shouldn’t have to go anywhere else.

6. Members are never allowed to be off-line or hide from TA at any time, that means they have to remain online all the time to stand guard against potential G.I. JOE attacks. If you can’t handle this, talk with Kuz, he has candy his van that can help.

7. Glitches may not be used in any game at all, unless of course they are hilarious and don’t harm anybody, because who doesn’t love floating warthogs and stuff, I sure know COBRA does. No cheating or glitching is allowed to gain a competitive advantage. Really no cheating or glitching is allowed at all, but we’d be hypocrites if we said we didn’t laugh at some of the hilarity out there on the internet of newbs getting pwned by glitchers. If its against a newb, I guess its ok.

8. De-ranking is not allowed, in fact does it really need to be mentioned. Whoever put this here is fired, just let me know who you are and I’ll make you pack your bags.

9. Members below the rank of Cobra Commander may have no more than one (1) gamertag in Team Awesomness at any one time. Cobra Commander must receive permission before using a second tag, so if he has to, then you do to. That means you can’t log in guests.

10. Players should not be booted or forcibly removed from a party unless they have first been asked to leave and refused. In which case, boot away, like when Cero drives a warthog slowly into a laser, bastard.

11. Quitting a game out of frustration or anger is considered unsportsmanlike conduct and we’re all better people than that. If you really have to quit, at least swear alot before you do it, it will make it look better. This does not include situations where a player’s connection to the game was severed due to loss of power or internet service, in those circumstances we’ll boot you immediately from TA for breaking Rule 6.